sleepymel8201

I always forget to update this thing. There's always so much to talk about but by the time I get home and on the comp, I'm braindead.
Last weekend I was on my way home and ran out of gas. Officer Sexy Pants rescued me and took me to the gas station and then took me back to my car. Very nice guy. Very sexy :-P His arms...he had what could correctly be referred to as "guns" :-P
Everyone's been sick. I was sick a couple of weeks ago but it seems like it's just travelling from one person to the next. It seems like it starts with one person and when the last person in the group is finally starting to feel better that first person starts to get sick again.
Steve's prospective release date is September 9. SO, that means we had 6 1/2 months to go. I'm very excited. I want to start stocking up on towels and sheets and other household items. I have all these questions like how many towels and sheets do i actually need? how do you menu plan? how do you combine incomes? There's so much to think about. But, soon, he'll be home, we'll finally get to be together. It's been a lot wait.
Work still sucks. My raise wasn't on my last check so it should be on this one i get next friday. There's still a lot of bs going on. They keep changing the rules and not telling us and then yelling at me when i'm not doing it correctly. But, no one else can do wrong. Fuck that. I hope that someday I'll get to go to a more professional lab. Part of me is afraid that I'll go somewhere else and they will be reluctant to hire me because I worked at skaggs. Or that I'll go somewhere and not know what they hell i'm doing because I was poorly trained. yeah, I passed the test but no one cares. I'm thinking about trying to save up $3500 and go to a complete 8 day training course in Atlanta. That way I will be better prepared to go to another lab that actually follows the rules.

This is lame. I HATE being sick. It's been awhile since I've had the full blown flu. I had forgotten how much it makes me feel like I want to die. I've slept an amazing amount. I can't keep anything down though.
Life here is okay. Work still sucks. I'm definitely not going to be getting paid what I'm worth. That's fairly depressing. I'll be $4,000 less than base pay in the 25th percentile, in this area. I wanted to cry when I saw that. Especially knowing that my boss is making in the 75th percentile. But, alas, it isn't in the budget....
Valentine's Day is coming up. I'm working. I'm sending Steve cards. It's about the only thing I can do. I'm not super creative but I did buy 7 cards so that he'll get one a day for a week. HE MADE ME A CARD. It's awesome. It's on red construction paper and when you open it, there's a 3d pop out heart. He made the whole thing. I was very impressed. He finished it and was too excited so he mailed it to me 2.5 weeks early. Oh well. I told him he could never top it. :) I love him, you know?
On a side note, since I've been sick it seems like all that's on tv are movies with eddie furlong. I like him.

The Board of Registered Polysomnographic Technologists

The test scores you achieved on the Comprehensive Examination for Polysomnographic Technologists appear below.
Congratulations! You passed the test!

Number of questions you answered correctly: 153 (out of 200)

score range: 200-500 passing score: 350

your score: 412 P/F Status: PASS

Analysis of Pre-Testing Information: 75%
Study Performance: 73.3%
Scoring: 80%
Patient Support and Education Activities: 82.4%
Site Management: 81.8%

Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you, Melissa K. Jackson, RPSGT

i have posted pictures

http://photos.yahoo.com/melita8201

enjoy :)

still no test results yet. maybe tomorrow.

i'm bored with my buds, i need some excitement in my life.

i miss steve.

8 months!

they said that my test results would be available the week of the 9th-14th. THEN they said that they would mail the results out on or about the 13th. NOW they say they won't be mailed until "on or about the 17th" I'm getting pissed

Ahhh! I have a wedding to go to in Centerville, VA in June.....any volunteers to be my date?

I know I haven't updated in awhile. Christmas was alright. My birthday was alright. New Years was good. i went over to a friends and everyone crapped out and fell asleep early. So I went over to Levi's house. Levi is Steve's best friend and Steve is always wanting us to hang out. So I went over there and drank too much tequila and crashed on Levi's couch. ( I now agree with the saying of there are two types of people in this world...those who drink tequila and those who can never drink tequila again) Anyways, since then...actually, since the day after Christmas Steve started wigging out on me about cheating. He won't come right out and say "I think you're cheating on me". But he'll imply it in everyway possible...."I had a dream..." stuff like that. And we've discussed it and he said that it's not that he doesn't trust me, he doesn't trust people around me. Like I can't take care of myself. And he even said that for the first two years in state he didn't trust me. Everyone else's wives were running around, why shouldn't i be too? And you know, all that really really pisses me off. Because I try to be a good girlfriend. i have been faithful to him for coming up on 5 fucking years that he's been locked up. And I still get no trust. I give up a lot waiting for him and when i think about it, it kind of bothers me, but it is SOOOO worth it to be with him. Why can't he see that? Why isn't "because I love you" a good enough reason? Why am I with someone who can't trust me?

So this guy that I went to school with died this weekend in a car accident. Some guy all hopped up on crack sped through a stop sign, while running from a cop, and hit this guy's truck. He died. I was listening to the news when I found out. This is the second time this has happened...I've been listening to the news and find out someone is dead. It really upset me. Jesse was a good guy. He had a good heart. he was home from his first tour of duty in Iraq. We weren't friends or anything. Just acquainances. We rode the same bus for as long as I can remember. I haven't spoken to him since we graduated. But I am really upset about this whole thing. He was a good kid. The newspaper said "man killed in accident downtown". Man? he was 22. Only a boy. I don't know if I should go to the funeral...

I took my test on Saturday. It was 10x easier than i thought it was going to be. We had four hours to take it and i finished in an hour and half. I knew that stuff. Some stuff I didn't know but I know what WASN'T the answer. I feel really good about it. If I didn't pass, I only missed it by one or two. I'll find out in 4-6 weeks. :-P


Today is my birthday. I'm 23. Another friend of mine's bday is on the 22nd. Another one of our friends was going to throw me a birthday party until other bday girl stepped up and said that we should have a joint party. Which turned into her party. Which turned into a birthday dinner for me at a sushi place I don't like because i didn't have a choice in the matter and I'll probably end up paying for my own meal. It seems like my birthday was hijacked again. Last year everyone cancelled plans with me because they were too busy. :-( Next year will be good. Steve will be home. You know, this is the only day of the year I would like to not be ignored and since i actually like my friends this year I thought it would be different. Oh well. Such is life, I suppose.

Well, folks, I'm back (obviously). My comp was down but I fixed it :)A lot has happened since I last updated.
I went and saw Steve down in Mississippi. It was a lot of fun. I took a couple gay boys and a loud pregnant girl. Seeing Steve was awesome. I got to sit right next to him. We got to hold hands and cuddle. It was amazing. I douct we'll have that much intimacy when he comes home. Well, intimacy in that way. I don't think we could sit and whisper things to each other 2 inches from the others' face without doing it on the outside :-P He should be home before the end of September :-)
The only other thing that's going on is I'm going to take my huge test on Saturday. My Registry for Polysomnography Technologists ( brpt.org) I've been studying. I think I'm ready. I had two practice tests. One old one and one from when I went to Atlanta in September. i took the old one in May and made 56/100. I took the atlanta one in september and made 64/100. I took the old one today without cracking a book and made 70/100. THen I studied and took the one from atlanta again (the harder one) and made 81/100. So, I think I'll do okay. THere's 200 questions, 4 hours to take it, and i need a 75% to pass. I'll find out at the end of January (4-6 weeks).
I feel pretty good about the material. I'm just worried about the test itself. The test is not made to pass. They manipulate you with the questions and they manipulate you with the answers. It's like they know what wrong answer you may be thinking of and put it as a choice. Also, more than one answer may be right but you have to choose the BEST one. SO, that's what worries me. That it will make me second guess myself. But, I know, I know...go with your first answer. I'm still allowed to be nervous though.

I was over at Jimmie's and he hended me the phone to talk to his boyfriend (whom I have never met). This was our conversation.

Me: Hello?
Him: Hey..how's it going?
M: Good, how are you?
H: Oh, it's ok. I have an infection on my left testicle.
M: That can't be good. Are you gonna be alright?
H: Yeah, I have an antibiotic for it I got from the doctor.
M: THat's good. So you get to keep it?
H: Yeah, that was my first question when I went to the doctor..if I was going to lose it.
M: Well, Lance Armstrong has one testicle. Maybe you could win some races.
H: True and everyone will wear Kenny bracelets. So are you're not going to move out to San Diego anymore?
M: Why would I move to San Diego?
H: Wait...who is this?
M: This is Melissa, you don't know me
H: This isn't Melina?
M: Nope.
H: Oh my god, I told you about my testicles.

What is this, Rob? I've been tagged? You're going to make me think? I don't know if I'm capable, but we'll give it a try.
1.I think The Refreshments are the best band to listen to on a road trip
2. I have a weakness for red-headed boys
3. I always blush when someone winks at me
4. I always think I'm going to roll over in bed and there will be a dead body laying next to me
5. I want to take care of everything and fix everyone
6. Deep inside I'm just a 12 year old pervert who laughs at fart jokes
7. Conan is HOT
8. I'm messy when I'm by myself but clean when I have a roommate
9. I wish I could look like that chick of miami ink
10. Steve is the only man I have ever loved
11. I never liked sex until last summer
12. I'm very possessive
13. I like to show my cleavage
14. I love hands
15. I love NPR...Garrison Keillor relaxes me
16. I wish I were a farm girl
17. I miss my dad
18. I wish I had more close friends
19. I want to know how to quilt
20. I want to name my kids Maia Kazue, Olen Michael, ,and Charles Dwight
That was hard :-P nad it took me 20minutes!

Talk like a pirate day is tomorrow! (the 19th) SO, I took a test.



What is a pirate's favorite place to eat?

ARRRRRRby's :-) ha ha ha

I'm sorry I yelled at you tonight. I know it's been ages since we talked since you've been in the hole and the hurricane took out phone lines. Yes, I'm irritated that you went to the hole, but not for the reasons that you think. I understand that the reason probably WAS bs, like you said. I wasn't there. I'm not there. I don't fully understand your situation. But do you understand mine? I'm so incredibly fucking lonely. Most of the time I forget because I get to talk to you. We laugh and you make me smile like no one else can and I know why I love you. When we don't get to talk you seem farther away than I can ever imagine. I don't smile like I should. I feel an emptiness you wouldn't believe. Most of all I'm reminded of how lonely I actually am. I'm reminded that all my friends have split and you're really all I have. It's also rough right now because we're reaching our 5th anniversary. Before we knew about the federal time our wedding date was set for three weeks from now. The last two years that this date has come up hasn't seemed as much of a reminder of how long we've been together, but more of a reminder of yet another year without you. However, this will be the last one. So that's why I'm upset. And I'm sorry that I yelled at you without expressing what I really meant.

Things that have happened since I last posted:

1. I got hit by a car in the Walmart parking lot. I was walking into the building and this lady backed out of her parking spot without looking. She didn't hit me HARD. I kind of fell towards her car and ended up with a huge bruise on my leg. I screamed obscenities at her and then I noticed there was a small child with her and I felt bad for using such language. But then I noticed that he was sitting in the front seat and she was looking at me like the entire thing was my fault.

2. I got hit in the head with a shopping cart. Once I'm in the store I made my way to health and beauty to buy some makeup. The thing I needed was on the bottom shelf. This lady had her cart in the way and I said excuse me. She moved her cart and I proceded to bend down to get my item. At the same time she reached up for an item and used the cart as balance, pushing it into the back of my head and my head into the shelf. She just looked at me and I told her that she hit my head. Then she half-heartedly apologized.

3. I rode on a prop plane. We were late leaving Springfield on our way to Atlanta via Dallas/Ft Worth. We were supposed to be on a small jet but one was unavailable due to flying refugees to various places in the country. They put us on a very small prop plane. We could have dusted some crops. The flight was extremely turbulant. I actually almost flew out of my seat one time, good thing for the seatbelt. And I yelped. The pilot said that this plane was slower than the other plane and we would land about 45 minutes late. Half of the passengers missed their connecting flights. When we landed in DFW it took the ground crew 30 minutes to get us off the plane.

4. I attended my Registry Review for my Certified Registry Exam for sleep. I take the test in December and I will need every minute to study for this test. It was very informative. My brain is mush. I did learn some studying tips and met some really interesting people in my field. I also learned that everyone else's job is better than mine (of course).

I guess that's it. I'm exhausted from everything. On a side note, I got a letter from Steve. He's in the hole down in Yazoo. Turns out he can't keep his mouth shut and do what he's told. He's in prison. This is a punishment. He needs to buck up and take it so that he can come home. They can keep him. They can take away his phone and mail priveledges, therefore taking away my phone and mail priveledges. I'm a little irritated with him .I know that his time is getting short and that it's getting a little harder. But he needs to be living in a placee with me by December 11, 2006 or we're going to have a problem. I say that but we all know that I'll be with him forever. But he still needs to get his head out of his ass.

Other than everything that happened I'm good. I'm home, watching Aqua Teen :-)

This is an average conversation with a Pizza Hut Customer

Me: Hi, thanks for calling Pizza Hut. My name is Melissa. May I have your phone number, area code first please?
Them: HELLO? Uh, yeah, I need to place an order.
M: Ok, can I have your phone number?
T: 4772870
M: And your area code?
T: 66614
M: For your phone...your area code...
T: 66614
M: Ok, what city?
T: Topeka *snotty tone*
M: And what's your address?
T: Uh, it's on Gage. The big blue house right on the other side of the gas station.
M: I need an exact address so that our driver will know where he's going.
T: I TOLD you, it's on Gage.
M: And you don't know your address? Because I can't place a delivery order without it. Is there a piece of mail or something laying around?
T: I don't know the address here. Can't I just give you directions?
M: No.
T: fine, BITCH

*CLICK*


5 hours of this and one can get a little irritated

Is it just me or did Labor Day sneak up? I had no idea until I went to the grocery store and the cashier said "have a good holiday" and I was confused. However, I was very happy when I realized that I do not have to work on Monday :)

I'm glad that the National Guard is finally helping out the south. It seems to me that we knew that the hurricane was coming and we knew it was a really strong one. It just seems that we would have had some of this support in place instead of it taking a week to get any help to these people. There are some refugees in my town and the mayor is asking that we open our homes up. I would really like to be able to help. I would like to think that if I had my own home with plenty of room and extra food, I could step up to the plate. But I just don't trust anyone. Isn't that sad? Does it make me a bad person or does it make me human? One thing that does make me a bad person is that I kinda giggled at the hurricane shirt on tshirthell.com. It says " north devastated by hurricane. southerners found still alive" or something like that. But it's kinda true, you know?

My friends are officially VERY few and far between. Which makes me kinda sad but not really. I mean, it's no big loss. None of them were really great people to begin with. I feel like I'm in high school again. Like I'm trying to find my place among my peers. Does this ever end?

I'm getting a little lonely. I work all the time, but I would like to go out and have some fun....without drugs or sexual promiscuity.

easier said than done.

I just slept like 20 hours. Is that not insane? I haven't been sleeping all week. I've been really stressed out about this whole fundraising thing at work. We had $330 left out of $2000. One of the doctors offered to write a check for the remainder. We were very happy. The administrative director came in and said that we couldn't accept the check because we need to accept some responsibility and pay for the test ourselves. She also mentioned how we just got a raise and are about to get another and that we'll get another after we pass our test, so we're not allowed to accept anymore help. I think that's absolute bs. Why does she have the right to step in and say that we can or cannot accept donations? I'm sure that between the two of us we can come up with the money it just really pisses me off. We had to go out of our way and try to raise this money because the hospital wouldn't pay for it. We raised the money on our own. Had bakesales and raffles. Someone complained about us raising money. I'm not sure what they said exactly. But all of a sudden we can't accept any more help. After Steve comes home, I'm not working for this organization anymore. They're not even paying me what I'm worth.
I'm also stressed out about Steve. I know that the hurricane reached up to Yazoo City. I know he's ok. The prison was probably the safest place to be. I just want some verification. I can't get in contact with the facility. As far as I know he's still there. They may have evacuated him though. I think I'm going to call the main office for the federal bureau of prisons. Hopefully they'll be able to tell me something.
I've been irritable all week. I apologized to Steve's grandparents yesterday if I had been snappy with them. I haven't been able handle anything this week. Hopefully next week will be better. I really just want to crawl into a hole and be held for like 2 weeks. I think that would make me feel better. I know that if I talked to Steve I'd feel better. That usually seems to do the trick. And I miss him like crazy. It really sucks not knowing the status of your loved one. I can't imagine being a military wife.

Does anyone else think it's weird that I get sick whenever a hurricane comes? I live in the middle of the country and such things shouldn't affect me. At least, I don't think so. For the last couple of years or so everytime a hurricane has hit land, I get an awful cold and a migraine to top it off. Oh well, such is life.
Since I am sick I have this wonderful 40yr old chain smoker breathy sex goddess voice. I worked at Pizza Hut tonight taking calls and some guy asked me if I had a second job as "one of those other" operators. What is wrong with people? I don't think that I could tell him, even if I was. :-P
Tonight was a decent night. My boss came up to me and told me (out of nowhere) that I was a very nice person. Which I thought was weird.
Not much else is going on. I slept all day. I did get to talk to Steve for our usual 15 minutes. Sometimes I feel a little disconnected from him. Today was one of those days. We'll talk again on Wednesday or Tuesday.

I used to have one of these but I never kept up on it. Let's see if I can commit.

So, what's been on my mind today?

Steve will be home in 53 weeks. That's very exciting. Can you believe that I'm going to be married in about 2 years? I'm really looking foreward to it, like I can finally relax and be complete.

I'm still mad at my mother. She wants to act like everything is fine after she more or less kicked me out and let my stepdad say awful things to me about how I make him uncomfortable when I'm around that even thought he's been my stepdad since I was 7, he loves me in a sense because I am my mother's daughter. Oh, ,and how he let me move in to help me save money because it was the right Christian thing to do. NOT because I'm family or anything. THEN she gets mad at me and stops talking to me because I didn't get him a father's day present.  You know what? Fuck him. And fuck her too for choosing him over me. Not that there should be a choice but this is not her first husband, nor will he be her last. But I am her one and only daughter. It's so sad when you can't go to your family for any kind of support or anything. I had to run to Steve's family like a lost little puppy dog. But you know, they've given me a better home than I could have ever known. I'm very blessed, I realize that. I know that everything happens for a reason. But the fallout with my own family was very hurtful. No one will be at my wedding.

 My friends might be at my wedding. But who knows what friends I'll have then. The friends I have now are all on some serious drugs. I don't do drugs. They're all extremely promiscuous. I'm faithful to Steve. There was a falling out recently where a girl didn't follow girlfriend code and slept with another friends crush. They're wanting me to choose sides. It doesn't affect me. Since I won't choose sides everyone is angry with me.

So here I sit, on a Saturday night eating granola and mangoes, by myself where it's quiet and safe and I'm in a house of love. The only person I want to be with is Steve and the Federal Government gets to keep him for another year. Soon though.